If Only You Were White Text
by MaximumParanoia
Summary: Three years is too long to spend with Jade, consorts, carapacians and a bunch of sprites. Okay more like, three years is too long to spend time in person with a certain feathery asshole version of your best bro. You wished there was a warning label that had screamed "Warning: Major Life Changing Situations Ahead".
1. Subtle Hints

Title: If Only You Were White Text

Pairing: Davesprite/John Egbert, Davesprite/Jade Harley [Mentioned]

Rating: T [May Change to M later]

My first homestuck fic, sorry if it's a little bad.

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><p>What was once a long day has turned into a laughable idea of time. After all, in comparison, three years was a lot more of an ordeal. They lacked the sense that everything needed to be done and done right. There was no worry over a stab-happy, ring bearing Jack now. That wouldn't be a thing again for three years.<p>

Because there was no doubt in the minds of those present capable of coming to meaningful conclusions that by traveling to a new session old problems would just cease to exist, things like that just didn't happen in reality. Life just loves handing out shitty servings of 'you can't escape your problems'.

Three years. Holy shit. There was so much one could do in three years. If there was a whole world filled with human innovation left that is. As it stands, you and everyone else around have only what measly possessions you brought into your session and while alchemizing is still a thing, one cannot have everything they want. Makes you almost wish, almost, that you had gone to the meteor. At least there would be more individuals capable of participating in entertaining conversation.

You just couldn't leave Jade, that just wasn't right or fair in any way. Her name wasn't the only one jotted down on your fine list of conversational partners, which was shorter had you gone to be with your other human friends and the trolls. Davesprite was here. That feathery asshole. Not to mention the other sprites, but one could only get so much out of Jaspersprite before becoming frustrated and you were certain that too much time spent with your awesome Nanna would end up adding some unnecessary baggage to your middle.

That was the absolute last thing you needed when you weren't fighting off the games enemies as often as before to ward off any potential weight gain brought on by Nannasprites delicious confections. There was no doubt Dave would have used that as tinder in the fire he would build against you when you reunite. Of course the fire would be good-natured. A friendly jab between bros to be likened to the most uncool of sob filled hugfests. Even if he protested you were still gonna have a hugfest with Rose and him. Maybe even add Karkat into that little party. Vriska was another obvious attendee you were putting down on this guest list.

Hugfests and bro jabs aside, none of that mattered in the now. Because the now was still three years before any of what just happened became totally relevant again. This could still be loads of fun though. Just had to figure out how to make do and all that. Plenty of time to brush up on the sweet God tier powers, make friends with the consorts and explore the worlds Jade had brought. All of this was perfectly fine and dandy. There was no doubt that it would be smooth sailing through the yellow yard.

Things were bound to fall apart at the seams. That is apparent to all those that aren't you. Because you are too invested in all these pointless internal ramblings to actually realize the things you couldn't fully realize without having something close to omniscience. In other words, you could go on forever or stop right there and still not come to realize this one inescapable fact about your eventual future. Too bad you weren't given the gift of precognizance with your ascendance to the God tiers. Guess you will have to just blunder through this as poor, regular, too-young-for-this-shit John Egbert.

This is going to be a long and trying three years. Of that you don't even realize.

xXx

The first month of the first year

Everything was pretty cool. There was time to finally just kick back and relax, no shoes on your feet or hammer in your hand. The sweetest of all possible scenarios was this one, right here. The epitome of utter relaxation without a single care in all of paradox space. Because at the moment paradox space did not matter all that much. After all, you were fully assured that paradox space would not be sticking it's grimy little asshole fingers into this cake that was a three year reprieve.

So this is where you were at. On this giant, monolithic space ship that for some reason was designed like a sea faring vessel. Just what sort of crackerbrain thought this was a feasible idea? Right. The one that was also aware that breathing in space seemed to be of very little concern in the reality that was Sburb.

Whatever. Thinking over spaceships was boring and not worth your time. Well actually it was since you had plenty of that stuff and you weren't even the knight of it. Suck it, Strider.

Now where were we? Ah yes, talking about where you were currently planting your fuller than you remember behind into a couch placed in one of the various rooms on board. There were cakes stacked high all around, you were seriously getting sick of them. It would grow even older in the future as a food, of that you are positive.

Would you look at all these pointless tangents you seem to be on? Hoo boy, this is quite a roll you are on. Such a roll that you might hazard to call it of the barrel variety and assume that it might never end. But that's okay, we will cut this tangent short for you so that you may get on with the story you are without

choice taking part of. Not that you even know any of this. You cannot even hear or read this. It is not part of your conscious thought, this sentence. Yes some of it is you, but most of it is not. In fact even when it is you none of it really is you.

All of that aside, we were somewhere important.

Ah yes.

One month in and everything was a walk in the park. You were perched on a couch with a nicely sized TV playing something that had been 'borrowed' from one of your non-present good friends. Just a rather nondescript and rather cliche movie falling into a genre you had not been aware that certain cool kids even kept stock of. Maybe it was for ironic purposes. Whatever the case, you were watching a chick flick. With two chicks. Okay one chick and a feathery asshole.

They were both participating in conversation over the piss poor quality of this particular cinematic endeavor of the now near extinct race of which you are proud to be from. Davesprite has not offered any choice commentary on why he even has the movie, but is no stranger to criticism. When he isn't posing commentary upon Jade finding the movie quaint that is. You are unaware of the undertones present in their conversation.

More months pass by.

More times you happen where you don't notice the nuances of unspoken feelings between your two friends.

This is why it hits you a little hard when it is finally brought to light half a year later. You are on LOWAS when it happens.

xXx

Jade is seated comfortably next to you, a bowl of popcorn in her lap that she is happily munching away on. The happiness on her face is why the words she speaks catches you completely off guard. "I broke up with Davesprite."

"That's coo- wait what?" You give your goo sister a funny, very puzzled look. Not even sure where the statement had come from. The two of you were sitting there, doing nothing related to Davesprite, enjoying Con Air. The movie was still slightly appealing, but there was a small pit within you forming. Something was so off in how you were feeling about all the iconic scenes. If only that could have been the discussion. If only Jade had chose to say "John, is something wrong?" while her ears reflected the worry that would lace her tone.

Reality never works right like that. "I broke up with Davesprite." She repeated for your benefit. You just didn't know how to react to this, you had no idea after all. They hadn't made the relationship obvious at all.

"Oh cool, so how'd Dave Sprite take it?" Gotta know if your bird bro will need some comfort that he would never accept. Fuck, the guy could be so much like Dave. Well, he was Dave too... only a bird. And a sprite. Okay he was totally different from your Dave.

A look of irritation crossed Jade's face with your question. Finding it wrong in two ways, she managed to beat down her irritance with you though and kept her light tone of voice. "It's Davesprite, John and I think he took it really well. I'm just a little worried over him though. We're his only friends and I probably just went and made him feel awkward to be around me."

You note the underlying hint of worry and sadness in her words. Jade wanted so much to be strong, and she was, you had seen her change over the course of the game. It made tears want to spring up, it was great how much greater she had gotten. You were so glad to call Jade your goo sister. To try and ease whatever was ailing her you offered a light-hearted little laugh before your response. "Come on Jade, this is Dave Sprite we are talking about here. The guy is probably off rapping to himself unironically. Totally over the whole thing."

Your face broke into a bucktoothed grin. "Next time you guys run into each other he'll give you that subtle sup and everything will be fine."

"Thanks John."


	2. The Classics

Title: If Only You Were White Text

Pairing: Davesprite/John Egbert

Rating: T [May Change to M]

Second chapter yay. More interaction to come in future chapters, this was still mostly buildup.

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><p>There was some hope that all this Jade and Davesprite nonsense really would just fade into the woodwork. She was obviously over him, for whatever reason of hers you don't know. You never pressed to find out exactly the cause of the break-up and had no intention to even now but it was obvious that it was no minor thing.<p>

The friendship you three shared was shattered from that day on. You were left feeling like a middle man stuck between two bickering parties. On one side was Jade, more than willing to return to how things were and be the best of friends with Davesprite. Too bad for the two of you though, he had no desire to interact anymore. It was really annoying simply because of how much it was affecting Jade.

She had been your friend first, and thanks to the game she was now your sister. Making his treatment, or lack thereof, towards her grate on your nerves. Dave would never be this way. Guess that was another line chalked up on the 'Davesprite isn't your Dave' wall that you only began compiling when he started to truly be a feathery asshole that he had been accusing you of thinking of him as.

All this had finally worn your fuse short. Tomorrow was the year celebration of the game starting as well as your birthday and you were so frustrated with the crumbled dynamics of your friendships that it almost didn't feel worth it to throw the party Jade and Nanna insisted on. Especially since they the former reminded you that it would fall on your shoulders to invite the unfriendly sprite you unfortunately sometimes called a birdy version of your best bro. By default that made him your best bro on this trip.

You were not looking forward to walking head long into that encounter, the only good thing being that you would not have to bring the pop-a-matic vrillyhoo hammer. No way were you going to strife any of this bullshit out with a disgruntled sprite. Especially since the last time you tried that Jade ended up grounding you both to your respective planets until you calmed your feathers and tits respectively. Definitely no more strifing. Her interference had also been in some way caused by the important fact that your strifing had scared the consorts.

Heaving a sigh you slid down the wall to the lowest levels main hall and came to rest on your ass. You came down here to the very belly of the ship whenever the planets stopped being a place you could go without Jade popping in to bug you over something. Or popping someone else in. Occasionally she forgot that you didn't always go to explore. The saving grace was after a short conversation the two of you had come to terms that travelling down here meant you wanted to be left alone so that you could think.

Down here all one would find was the machinery that powered the ship. Some of it was running so that various internal functions that all passengers found necessary stayed operational. The rest was silent, unused because whatever it did in no way benefited you or anyone else aboard. Sometimes you would go to one of these silent rooms and hide out between the machines. The room you frequented most you had outfitted as a second room in fact. Sometimes you would go to sleep down here and escape into the dreambubbles.

That sounded like a dandy idea right now, except it wasn't. You needed to go up and invite Davesprite to the party he already knew he was invited to. Verbally giving the invitation was really just a formality. One that was best seen through as fast as possible, it's just that the floor had become quite comfortable and the effort to stand seemed just too great. Too bad it had to be done. Pushing himself up John brushed off his god tier pajamas and sighed. This was going to be loads of fun. Of that he was sure.

You basically dragged your feet on the way up to make the long journey up that much longer. Okay it wasn't even a long journey, just a good several minutes plus some since Davesprite had found he loved to occupy the highest point of the ship. Thank god for having powers, otherwise travelling up to the roof of the structure jutting out of the ship with no uniform structure that was filled with rooms of various entertainment and necessity themes might have been a harrowing trip. As it were he just needed to make it to the deck and then travel the rest of the way via the breeze.

The steps of the staircase tried your muscles stiffened from a lack of movement for the better part of an hour for the first two floors traveled. The last 15 were a breeze, if you will. Not that you did not travel up those in the same manner as the first two. On foot. Luck was on your side before you even reached the top however as the soft blue glow of Nanna came to your attention.

She floated before you with a soft, but mischievous smile set upon her kindly face. Man, you loved your Nanna. Especially when she looked like she was not about to crush your prankster's gambit or try to load you up on goodies. This time it looked like she knew you needed some heart to heart before your next encounter. She was the best.

"Hi Nanna!" You did your best to beam at the sweet old sprite, but somewhere in the smiles formation it lost most of it's power, coming out a little awkward and forced instead. She came over and ruffled up your hair, which brought a more realistic smile to your face as you swatted her hand away. Laughing that she was messing up your already messed up hair.

"Dear tell Nanna what has you down, and don't try any nothing nonsense." Her sweet voice was enough to break you. Dammit you didn't want to have her sort out this problem for you, you were a man now. This was your job.

Still you caved. Caved harder than even the deadliest of mine collapses. You went to sit in front of her floating form, propped your elbows on your knees and then your head on your hands. "It's Jade and Davesprite." That was enough to get Nannasprite to put her unconnected hand-arm deal on your shoulder to rub comforting circles into it. This action loosened tense muscles you hadn't even realized were there.

"There is only so much you can do for them John, just be a good friend like I know you are. Give them company and laughter, you are so good at laughter dear. Here." She handed him a pie she had baked. "To loosen the tension. A good classic will help."

You took the offered pie and just laughed for a moment or two. Clearing the tears from your eyes you stood. Nanna was so smart, she knew just what to do, especially when concerning uptight assholes. "You always know what to do. I'll go give this pie straight to that guys face. He won't know what hit him." Literally he would know what hit him.

Nanna floated there in silence as you turned to look up at your destination. The roof far above you by several more stories. Made you think to the towering structures that had become you and your friends houses on your planets. Summoning up The Breeze you carried yourself through the air much faster than you could have ever gone by foot.

The structures roof was obviously Davesprite's home away from a home he could never reach. Since his home was in an alternate timeline. The house on LOHAC was kind of your Dave's house, not Davesprite's. Still, this didn't stop the guy from stealing things or having copies alchemized. There was Dave's desk and computer, probably got used to work on SBaHJ. There were the turntables that Jade had helped him obtain along with the video games that had long since grown boring and ditched for a time in favor of the movies that lay next tot the TV. Even those lost their flavor though.

His bed was something to behold simply put because it wasn't even a bed. It was more a collection of smuppet pieces, towels, pillows, the innards of pillows and an assortment of other things. You and Jade had both aided in the creation of this nest, without knowing what was being made of course. Jade had figured it out though and neither of you really cared if Davesprite was being birdbrained. If it made the dude feel comfortable who cared if he decided to build a nest from partially stolen partially given materials.

This was where the sprite was. Curled up in his cushy nest, wings tucked about his body. It briefly crossed your mind to wonder if sprites needed sleep or if he was trying to relive being human. Did sprites dream? If they dreamed did they go to the dream bubbles? Probably not.

A small part of you almost felt bad for what you were about to do. Almost being the operative word. If only he had actually made up with Jade like a real coolkid would have done.

You lobbed the pie at the orange fearthery version of Dave and watched as it struck home. Right in the sprites shaded face, which for once had not been looking assholish for once. The reaction you wanted was instantaneous. Davesprite literally squawked and floated into a bolt upright position. His wings flapping in a crazed manner as he ripped the pie tin from his face. You could almost see the look of pure hatred that should have blessed his unmoving face. Instead you got a look that screamed 'I am so unnamed Egbert".

You had barely started to guffaw when the pie tin struck your own face, delicious lemon meringue filling your open mouth. The pie was very tasty, if not goopy feeling on your face. You reached up and pried the tin off your own face and caught sight of the pleased smirk on Davesprites face, somehow it made you smile.

And then it made you laugh. And then he was joining you with an amused chuckle. It was as if whatever tension could have existed never even formed in the first place. Instead you were both laughing over an overused prank with pie bits on your faces. It was hilarious.

After a good five minutes straight of laughter you both began to wipe pie and tears from your face. Partially clean the both of you stood, well he floated, ready to do this thing that needed to be done. "So dude, I was wondering if you wanted to come to my party. We'll have ca~ake." Cake was not as enticing as it normally would be with how many you had sitting around the ship. The consorts did love them though.

"Wouldn't miss it, what's a party without my sick beats to bump and grind to. " Oh my God, you really just imagined that, Sburb style. Gross. No one wanted to see shell dudes and reptiles bump and grind.

"Ew Dave, no. Just no."

"Whatever, I'll be there."

If only that had held true.


End file.
